Gundah gulana.. Surgery lagi..

Last week dapat email daripada Dr. Amnuay. Dia bertanya mengenai progress kaki Wafiy.. yelah.. dah lama tak cerita mengenai Wafiy.. Kali terakhir kami pergi ke Bangkok adalah pada bulan April yang lepas.. Ini bermaksud, sejak kami menghubungi Dr. Amnuay, sudah tiga kali kami berulang alik ke Bangkok berjumpa dengan Dr.Amnuay.. kali terakhir kami berjumpa tu, Dr. Amnuay pakaikan Wafiy dengan cast dan  suggest Wafiy pakai custom made brace setiap malam supaya tidak berlaku lagi relapse..

Ini kerana selepas kami balik dr Bangkok untuk kali ke-2, kami buat temujanji dengan pihak ukm sebab Dr.Amnuay maklumkan Wafiy perlu menjalani tibial tendon transfer surgery. Seeloknya, buat di Malaysia kerana kosnye lebih murah. Dia suggest kami berjumpa dengan PRof. Sharaf di ukm. Tapi malangnye, pihak ukm tak mahu terima case Wafiy. Pada masa yg sama, mereka dah buka cast pada kaki Wafiy tapi tak nak pasang balik.. Sangat kecewa masa tu.. orang melayu pun tak mahu tolong anak bangsa sendiri.. kalau tak nak buat surgery.. at least pasang la balik cast tuh..

Selepas dua bulan, kaki wafiy mengalami relapse.. maksudnye.. kaki kiri dia mula bengkok semula bila dia berdiri dan berjalan.. Contact dengan Dr. Amnuay, dia minta kami datang untuk check-up..

Bulan April lepas, kami terbang lagi ke Bangkok. Masa jumpa dia, memang ada mention yang brace tu bukan permanent solution untuk kaki Wafiy.. Untuk betulkan semula, wafiy still perlu jalani pembedahan tendon transfer tu.. tapi chance untuk berjaya pun 50-50 sebab wafiy dah pernah jalani pembedahan yang sama.. bimbang kalau tendon yang hendak dipotong tu dah takde dan tak boleh guna lagi.. yang buat kami rasa cam hampeh.. bole pulak dia cakap .. dia tak nak la pulak jadi kambing hitam kalau dia buat operation..operation tu tak menjadi atas sebab yang tadi.. resah gelisah kami dibuatnya.. tambahan pula, kos surgery mestilah mahal.. sebab hospital tu hospital swasta.. jadi, kami tak decide apa-apa pun mengenai surgery tu.. just minta dia buatkan brace untuk wafiy..

Then, last week.. Dr. Amnuay minta inform progress wafiy.. what can i say.. memang takde improvement pun kat kaki kiri dia tu.. dia still suka nak tilt at the outer side of his foot bila berjalan.. Minta pendapat Dr. Amnuay balik.. And this is his reply :

"He definitely needs a tibialis tendon transfer on the left side. But since he had this tendon transfer before with probably a failure. I would like to say that if he is my son, I will attempt an operation to restore a proper pull of the ankle dorsiflexion."

nak kena surgery jugak ke nih.. rasa gundah gulana.. resah gelisah.. banyak persoalan tetiba berada di benak pemikiran.. aduuhhhh.. tak tahu nak buat keputusan macam mana.. nak buat jugak ke tidak.. pening nak fikir.. macam-macam nak kena fikir, consider.. kos, kesan dari surgery tu, nak travel ke sana lagi, nak duk kat mana, .. fenin lah... rasa cam x ready lagi nak tengok wafiy go through another surgery.. hubby pulak masih belum bagi apa-apa pandangan..  rasa nak nangis!! uwaa....

Seeking New Hope

For the past 2 weeks, i've been communicating with a doctor from Bangkok regarding wafiy's case. Her name is Dr.Amnuay Jirasirikul and he is a certified Ponseti method to treat clubfoot. I got his email from a blog (clubfootmalaysia.blogspot.com). The author, Ina has a daughter with unilateral clubfoot (means only one foot is affected) and received treatment from Dr.Amnuay and the result sounds promising.

So, I thought why don't I just give it a try. Moreover, I intend to seek for a second opinion regarding wafiy's condition, so why not asking the right person. Therefore, I sent an email, expain in details wafiy's foot condition, his treatment and surgical history, photos of his foot.. and how much we need his expert opinion and how much we hope to see wafiy's foot to be normal but not through another agonizing and depressing surgery.

To my surprised, after few hours, he replied my email and asking for a video of wafiy's walking.. okay.. that's a good sign.. he shows some interest.. So right away, I sent the video clip.. The next day, he came out with a plan on how he would take care of wafiy.

ding!ding!ding!.. it's a new hope for us.. :)

From his email, he wants us to meet him in Bangkok. We are sooooo excited.. However, I have my own concern.. nothing else than $$$$$$$$$$..
First, there's the flight tickets (at least 4 round trip tickets for 3 of us since both of his feet need to be recast biweekly).
Second, the accomodation (need to sleep somewhere for sure).
Third, the medical fees.

So, I mentioned to Dr.Amnuay regarding my concern. Rasa terharu sangat2 bila dia reply suruh we all just book flight tickets and he will take care of the rest.. memula sounds macam fishy, sebab tak pernah jumpa doktor akan cakap macam ni, but later i realize.. this doctor actually has a pure heart and sangat caring to help his patient. He even invited us to stay at his condo for free of charge.. alahai!.. adeker org lain nak buat macam ni.. dahla kita nih dikira sbg strangers kan.. sebab tak pernah jumpa pun lagi.. tapi dia sungguh baik hati nak offer tempat tinggal dia.. tp we all just book hotel room sebab since sekrg cuti sekolah.. bolela ronda2 bangkok.. nxt time, bolela jimat2 stay kt rumah dia sahaja.. 

Lepas discuss dengan husband, we decided to fly to Bangkok this Sunday, Dec 5th. And our appointment will be on Tuesday, Dec 7th at Bumrungrad Hospital. Because of that, I have to cut short my initial plan to take care of my mother for another week. hari isnin petang dah drive balik semula ke manjung ditemankan heroku ini, wafiy. Haritu tuk dan wan (belah papa dia) ambil dia dari manjung dan bawak balik kl. So terpaksa la angkut dia semula balik manjung to prepare the papers.

So we are all set. Can't wait to see Dr.Amnuay soon. Hope for the best. Pray for our safe trip.

First Step is always precious

 

Mama taking her first step after surgery

Aza rasa sangat berbangga dengan mama yang mempunyai semangat yang kuat. She is recuperating very well. Semua doktor, nurse dan physiotherapist sgt impressed dengan mama punya progress. Mana taknya.. by 3rd day, lutut dia dah boleh bent 30deg, by 4th day boleh bent 75deg, by 5th day.. dah boleh bent 90deg dan jalan tatih tatih guna walking aid. Physiotherapist tu punyelah suka tengok mama dah boleh bangun dan jalan.. siap tepuk-tepuk tangan lagik... Doktor-doktor dan nurse semua puji-puji my mother... since i was there most of the time.. i heard a lot of "makcik nih baguslah".. "makcik cepat ye baik".. "makcik dah boleh bengkokkan lutut ye, cepatnya" .. wahh.. rasa bangga pun ada, rasa syukur pun ye.. Alhamdulillah.. the surgery went well, and my mother is feeling good too. Mama kata dia xdelah rasa sakit sangat pun, sikit-sikit je.. sebelum surgery dulu laaaaagiii sakit katanya.

Sememangnya, my mother memang seorang yg kuat semangat. She's been thru a lot. Dan aza sangat kenal dengan perangai mama yang tak suka menyusahkan orang lain. Sebab tu dia kuatkan semangat nak cepat-cepat boleh jalan supaya senang dia bergerak sendiri tanpa perlukan bantuan orang lain. Tengoklah gambar kat atas tuh.. bukan main happy betul dia dah dapat bangun dan jalan-jalan.. Kepada yang mendoakan.. terima kasih banyak-banyak.

Walaupun menjaga org sakit di hospital can be very exhausting, tetapi.. aza rasa puas dapat jaga dan teman mama sepanjang di hospital. Bagi aza, it is time for me untuk balas balik segala pengorbanan mama. Tambahan pula.. mama lah yang jaga aza semasa dalam pantang dahulu. Teringat susah payah mama naik turun tangga hantarkan makanan, bawakkan air panas, jaga wafiy setiap pagi, sediakan kain baju semua. mama jugalah yang jaga aza dan wafiy berbulan-bulan selama kami tinggal di rumah mama supaya kami senang nak berulang-alik ke hospital setiap minggu. Mama jugalah yang menjaga, membelai, mendidik, dan memberikan sepenuh perhatian dan kasih sayang kepada wafiy sepanjang setahun aza mengikuti kpli dahulu.. tak terbalas rasanya pengorbanan-pengorbanan ini.

Kawan-kawan yang masih ada ibu.. jagalah dan belailah ibu anda sementara dia masih ada.. sekiranya dia sakit, take your time off from your busy schedule to take care of your mother.. it really does worth it...

@Hospital Selayang

 The ward 

it's really nice, clean, and organized. well, maybe because it's a first class ward, so everything is totally being cared of. if you are a visitor, no need to wait for the visiting hours. Enter anytime.. just tell the guard "wad 9A", and the guard will let you in. Owh, the sister and nurses are nice and friendly too.

The room 

my parent requested for a single bed room. Luckily, there's one available. However, the nurse mispelled my atuk's name. It should be Shlamat.. and not Shlamah lorrr!

My mother

My dearly mother tgh berdebar-debar thinking what will happen during the surgery (knee arthroplasty surgery) . Her friend bagitahu masa surgery tu nanti my mom boleh dengar doktor2 mengerjakan lutut my mom since bius separuh badan je. Tools dia sama macam tools yg my father guna untuk buat rumah.. so my mom bole dengar bunyi gerudi, bunyi tukul, bunyi grinder dan segala mcm bunyi.. hehehe.. takooooottttt!

 My bed

My bed for the past two nights and many more nights to come.... dah bawak comforter sesiap dr manjung nih untuk menambahkan keselesaan... hehe.. ada sesiapa nk ganti shift???

As of now, my mother dahpun kena surgery semlm. All went well. She's still in epidural.. so masih okay lagik.. please pray for fast recovery ye.. and sesiapa yg free, bolela dtg bawakkan aza rojak buah.. sebab rasa cam ngidam nak makan rojak buah... heheheh!

Nak kena operate dah

Tomorrow is my BIRTHDAY!

Esok ada meeting dengan Ketua Sektor di Tronoh dari pagi sampai petang.
Lepas meeting terus ke Pantai Putri Hospital. Admit ke wad.
Hari Khamis pagi kena operate.
Hari Jumaat insya Allah kalau takde ape-ape boleh discaj.

hari esok birthday saya. nampaknya tak selebret lah tahun nih.. takpelah.. hadiah dah dapat awal-awal.. Thanks to my dear husband for the precious gift.

Walaupun dah selalu masuk OT, rasa nervous sket-sket tuh tetap ada. selalunya, masuk OT hantar wafiy je. tunggu 2-3 jam.. masuk balik OT utk jaga wafiy masa recovery.. kali nih.. sendiri masuk OT, sendiri nk kena dioperate.  

Doa-doakanlah saya cepat sembuh ye... cepat baik.. dan cepat dapat baby lagi.. hehe.

The doctor said....

I need to go through surgical treatment called Laparoscopic Ovarian Drilling (LOD) since the medical treatment failed to fix my ovulation and menstrual problem. I asked for a second IUI, but he informed that IUI is not the best treatment at the moment since my body is not responding well with the medication, thus, ovulation is hardly can occur. Therefore, chances of getting successful IUI is pretty slim. Rather than wasting money and time, LOD is the best option as it fix the hormone level and regulate the menstruation.


Here is some information regarding Laparoscopic Ovarian Drilling (LOD) procedure :

Source : http://women.webmd.com/laparoscopic-ovarian-drilling-ovarian-diathermy-for-pcos

Laparoscopic ovarian drilling (ovarian diathermy) for PCOS

Laparoscopic ovarian drilling is a surgical treatment that can trigger ovulation in women with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). Electrocautery or a laser is used to destroy parts of the ovaries.

This surgery is not commonly used. But it can be an option for women who are still not ovulating after losing weight and trying fertility medicines.

Ovarian drilling is usually done through a small incision (laparoscopy), with general anesthesia. The surgeon makes a small cut (incision) in the abdomen at the belly button. The surgeon then places a tube to inflate the abdomen with a small amount of carbon dioxide gas so that he or she can insert the viewing instrument (laparoscope) without damage to the internal organs. The surgeon looks through the laparoscope at the internal organs. Surgical instruments may be inserted through the same incision or other small incisions in the pelvic area.

Because the incisions are so small, laparoscopy is often called "Band-Aid surgery."

What To Expect After Surgery

If you have a laparoscopy procedure, you will likely go home the same day and can do your normal activities within 24 hours. Your return to normal activities will depend on how quickly you recover from surgery, which may take a few days or as long as 2 to 4 weeks.

Why It Is Done

Ovarian drilling is sometimes used for women with PCOS who are still not ovulating after trying weight loss and fertility medicine. Destroying part of the ovaries has been reported to restore regular ovulation cycles.¹

How Well It Works

Studies of women with PCOS have shown that ovarian drilling results in an 80% ovulation rate and a 50% pregnancy rate.¹

Younger women and those with a body mass index in the normal range are most likely to benefit from laparoscopic ovarian drilling.²

Risks

Risks of laparoscopy include:

• Infection of the incision.
• Bleeding from the incision.
• Internal bleeding.
• Accidental injury to internal organs or major blood vessels, from the laparoscope or surgical instruments.
• Pain after the procedure, from inflating the abdomen with gas.
• Problems caused by anesthesia.
• Adhesions or scarring inside the body.

What To Think About

No randomized controlled trials have been used to study this treatment for starting ovulation:¹

• Ovulation and pregnancy rates are based on reports of about 1,000 women.
• Live birth rates, which are the true measure of treatment success, are not available and are probably less than 50%.

At the moment, I am taking Duphaston to trigger my menstruation. In Day 2- Day 5, blood test must be done. And I'll meet again with my specialist in early May to schedule the surgery. I'm hoping to schedule it latest in middle of May, since Wafiy's surgery is rescheduled in early June. hmm... semua nak kena operate nih.. fiy, my dad just had his eye surgery last Monday.

Doakanlah yang terbaik untuk kami yaaaa...... 

Want to see some photos?

The blue circle indicate the ovary. The black holes are numerous small cysts.

                                                           


That's the ovary (the white color thing).

Ovary after LOD procedure. banyak lubang-lubang.






Here is a video of the procedure... 

Kena potong tak?

Esok wafiy akan kena admit ke Institut Pediatrik HKL untuk buat surgery. Owh, ini surgery yang ke-4 to fix his feet. But this time, only the left foot. Tinggal sikiiiiiitttt lagi nak betulkan. Operation is scheduled on Monday. Kalau betul2 on.. x taula giliran ke berapa sebab dia dah besar. Kalau dulu-dulu.. selalu dia yang first dulu akan masuk OT, pukul 7.30am dah get ready nak masuk dah. yang x tahan tu, kalau lambat masuk.. means lama la dia nak puasa. takut dia meraung-raung je nanti nak susu. on the other hand, dia ada selsema sikit. Sepatutnya, 2 weeks before operation tak bole ada selsema, batuk atau demam. rasa-rasa macam nak kena reject dgn dr.bius esok nih. tak tahulah.. kami plan nak pergi je dulu.. kalau dia kata tak boleh buat.. boleh terus setup date baru.

To prepare wafiy nak kena operation, awal-awal lagi kami selalu pesan kat dia ;

"wafiy, nanti kita nak pergi hospital tau,. Doktor nak cek kaki wafiy pastu nak betulkan kaki wafiy. doktor nak kasi kaki wafiy jadi cantik. nanti kita duduk sama sama kat hospital ok!"

Wafiy akan cakap :

"ok! tapi kena potong tak? kalau potong wafiy tak nak.. cek ajer tau.. tak nak potong"

Nak sedapkan hati dia :

"Taakk... doktor tak potong. Dia tebuk ajer."

wafiy akan cakap lagi :

"Ok! tak nak potong tau!"

hahaha.. dia tak tahu lagi maksud tebuk tu apa.

Doa doakanlah semuanya selamat ye!

It is PCOS

the story goes on..

I went to the ob/gyn that my original doctor referred me to. It was 1 1/2 hour drive from Manjung to Ipoh. The doctor was kind and caring and he listened to what I had to say. I told him how anxious I am to conceive and he asked lot of questions about my menstrual history. He checked my blood test result and found out the hormon levels are not right. He then performed the transvaginal scan. He showed to me there are many small small eggs (cysts) inside my ovaries. However, these eggs couldn't matured due to the hormonal imbalance. He explained that the hormonal imbalance not only causing me to have scarce period, but also to easily gain weight, and suffering from acne and hair growth.

I noticed that I had a hair growth on my upper lip since I was a little kid. Not a nice memory though.. boys always make fun of me and say nasty things like "misai tebal ular sawa". A classmate also once asked " weh aza, kau ada janggut ke?". I also suffer from hair growth on my legs and serious acne problems since teenage years.

Finally, the doctor informed that I have a syndrome called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or simply PCOS. There it goes. I was diagnosed to have PCOS on June 2009.

However, it broke my heart that I almost going to cry when he said I will have difficulty in getting pregnant due to my condition. I said " I have a son, he's 3 yrs old", and he said "He is a MIRACLE BABY. With your condition, it is impossible to get pregnant naturally".

At this point, my weight is a constant uphill battle. Thanks to Proactive. I've been using it for 8 years now and my acne is under control. Sadly, I am still not getting pregnant despite all the treatments I've been through. But, I do not want to loose hope. Abundance of prayers and words of encouragement might help me to get through all these. Please pray for me.

Baby dust to all who's TTC

Worrying OVER WEIGHT

A year ago, I can still fit in my size 6 Levi's Jeans which I bought during my years in Minnesota. I was not too thin, and not too bulky. Just nice for a healthy and active woman like me. However, now, it is all history. My Levi's Jeans is nicely folded in my drawer and I know I am not going to wear it anytime soon.

My normal weight has always been around 53-55 kg. I think it is ideal for me as I always been a little bit muscular due to my sports activities. I noticed since Aug 2008, I has begun to put on weight excessively. Surprisingly, I gain 5 kg in 3 months. I was shocked! All my friends and even my lecturers also noticed the weight gain I had. At first, I thought it might be caused by me cutting off my sport activities. I resumed my physical activities after finishing my teaching training to shed some pounds, but sadly my determination petered out as I put on more. To confound more, I didn't menstruate for the whole year. I missed my period for months.

Later, in 2009, my dh and me decided it is time to conceive. I successfully finished my teaching training and my son is almost 3 years old. Unfortunately, I still did not menstruate until middle of the year, which means, I didn't ovulate and pregnancy is unlikely to happen. That was the turning point that I feel something wrong is happening inside my body. I decided to see my local doctor and she referred me to an ob/gyn specialist at HPP.

to be continued.......

My New Toy

Yes, I have a new toy.
Nope, it's not an iPhone.

It's Kettler Rivo P Elliptical Cross Trainer

Yes, I love the machine
No, I am not playing around
Yes, I do serious about losing weight
No, I don't trust all those diet pills, diet tea, slimming programs, diet milks will do wonders to me
Yes, I believe exercise and proper diet is the healthy way to lose weight

Huh? Owh. yeah I've got free set of Kettler 3kg dumbell with the machine. it really does complement my workout program.

Calories... Sayonara

burn a lot of calories today.. overhauling my house.. well.. not the whole house.. at least part of it.. been sweating the whole day.. and i smell stink.. stay fit ppl!